39 Weeks & Impending Labor

So I'm going to have a baby very soon.  Hopefully within the next week or so.  I'm thinking early next week.  Why do I think that?  I have no idea.  I guess Phoebe was pretty much right on time so I'm guessing this baby will be as well.  And getting through the weekend pregnant would be convenient.  

I'm sorry.  I realize I have probably worn this outfit in multiple blog posts, but it was what I was wearing this morning to take my 39 week picture.  And quite honestly, I don't think I have anything "new" or "fresh" to wear anymore.

Aversions/Cravings-  I have been craving sweets and baked goods this week.
Movement-  ALL THE TIME.  Getting to be ridiculous and almost annoying.
Pregnancy Symptoms- The itching is SO much better!  I mentioned the shower filter we got here, that is supposed to filter the chlorine out of your water.  It has helped SO much!  Worth every penny.  Chlorine can do some pretty awful stuff to your skin.  Now my hands are the only thing that itch.  And you can literally see a line at my wrist where the back of my hands are red and irritated because I wash them so much and am washing so many dishes.  This pregnancy has made my skin a lot more sensitive.  If you have eczema or sensitive skin you should seriously look into the New Wave Enviro shower filter.
I got some new support hose things that are seriously amazing and have helped the pain with the varicose veins A LOT!
Contractions, contractions, contractions- all the time.  Just not painful enough or regular enough for labor.
Sleep- What sleep?  I can't sleep without medication.  Ambien is my friend, but I only have a few so I'm trying to ration it well.
Sex-  I give up trying to guess.  I can't wait to know for sure.
Weight Gain- 28 lbs.  They think this baby is going to be significantly bigger than Phoebe.  Yikes.
Randoms- I'm feeling much more prepared now.  After a little scare last week we have all our bags packed, cradle down, sheets washed, and infant carrier ready.  I boiled all the pump parts and a few bottles just in case.  I even washed a few of Phoebe's newborn outfits in case its a girl.  

I'm excited to have the baby, but the "problem" with having a baby is that you have go actually go through labor.  It doesn't come easily.  And for some reason I'm way more anxious about it this time than I was round one.  Is that weird?  I wasn't going in clueless the first time either.  You see I'm an labor and delivery nurse.  I see people birth babies ALL the time- both with an epidural and without.  I see the medical inductions of labor and I see the natural labor progress.  I knew what to expect.  I knew what it looked like and most likely what physical and emotional phases I would go through as a laboring mother.  I knew it would most likely take a long time.  And I knew I wanted to try to have an un-medicated birth.  Yes, I am one of those "crazies".  I think birth is a beautiful and natural process that should be embraced for what it is.  I didn't feel like I had something to prove.  I knew having a baby without an epidural wouldn't make me a better mother.  And I'm not one of those people who feels like I have to experience God's curse on Eve.  No.  Believe me I know we live in a fallen world and am reminded of that on a moment by moment basis- I don't need labor pains to remind me.  Yet, I do think birth as with any other event in life is an opportunity to glorify God.
And did you know that almost a third of all births in the US now are via cesarean section?  That is scary to me and I feel like we have caused that problem ourselves with our medical model of birth.  But that is a tangent I will not go off on right now.
Really I just feel like the more we try to intervene with any natural process the more complications we potentially create.  So I wanted as little intervention as possible.  Did you know there is such a thing as the nurse curse?  Yep, that's right.  Nurses are cursed to have everything go wrong in labor.  For example there were 3 other nurses I worked with that were due right around the same time as me.  Two ended up with unplanned cesarean sections and one had a post-partum hemorrhage.  Nurse curse.
I wanted to avoid the nurse curse.  I wasn't a crazy person with an eight page birth plan (if that is/was you I'm sorry I have probably judged you) I just wanted to see if I could do it.  And you know what?  I did.  You can read my birth story here.  It was truly amazing.  If I had gotten an epidural or needed to have a cesarean section, it would have been ok and I still would have left the hospital with a beautiful daughter.  But I will tell you that birthing Phoebe was by far the most empowering thing I have ever done and the accomplishment I felt cannot be described.  And I could not have done it with the grace of God and the support of my husband.
So all that to say, I felt no pressure with my first labor.  If I had a natural delivery great.  If I didn't- oh well.  But this time, because I have done it before, I feel like I should be able to do it again.  So I'm nervous.  What if I can't?  I know your second labor is typically "easier" or maybe quicker is a better term, but there are always exceptions to the rule.
I'm also nervous this time around because I have a 19 month old that we need to do something with when I go into labor.  (And the dog, but I'm not as concerned about him.)  We don't have family in town so it makes it a little bit trickier.  Our "first call" is out of town until tomorrow, so I will feel much better when she gets back to Atlanta.
Ok, that is enough rambling.  If you've stuck with me this far, thanks for reading :)