Wednesday, March 21, 2012

The Irony of the Final Farewell

Well a couple weeks ago I finally decided to stop pumping.  I have packed up my pump and supplies and am now happy that chapter of my life is behind me.  As Phoebe has gotten much more interactive and busy it had gotten a lot harder to sit/lay her down while I pumped.  It was getting too stressful to try to pump, take care of her, take care of the puppy, wash those stinking bottles, and shave my legs all in the same day.

So call me silly, but I honestly believed that stopping pumping would be no big deal.  I know some women have trouble weaning when they are finished nursing, but I figured because I never had that much milk and had never had what people would describe as a "heavy" or "full" feeling in my breasts, it would be no big deal.  I had always joked that "I could just stop pumping tomorrow" and it would be no big deal- wrong.   Really, if it was a busy day I could go for most of the day without pumping and never notice or feel uncomfortable.  I would just tell myself I needed to pump because I wanted to keep up my supply and I needed to pump in order for her to have her next meal.

So when I had finally had enough I did slowly start to wean.  I was eventually able to cut down to once a day and started to try to stop all together, but by late afternoon/evening I was so uncomfortable I had to pump!  So for about three days I pumped once in later afternoon/early evening because I just couldn't take it anymore until I finally decided I just had to stop and endure some discomfort for it all to go away.

OH MY GOODNESS.  Let me tell you no one prepared me for the week that followed.  None of my sports bras could reign these babies in.  I walked around with ice packs duct-taped to myself and frozen cabbage in my bra for a week.  Can I tell you how much I hate the smell of cabbage?  I find it completely nauseating and it was right under my nose for a week - gross.   I was in pain and extremely uncomfortable (to put it lightly) for a week- it was ridiculous.  A WEEK!

For the life of me I could not get my milk to come (back) in and now I can't get it to go away!  I feel like my body has a funny way of mocking me.  I never had to wear nursing pads; the only time I ever leaked was when she was 3 and 4 days old right after my milk came in and then post-pumping days number 5, 6, 7, 8 and counting.  My body is no where near back to normal yet, but now at least I can raise my arms up in the air and hold my baby without immense pain and discomfort.

Oh the joys.
Here is my happy baby

1 comment:

  1. She looks so much like you in that top picture!!


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